Losing myself

Feb 24, 2012 by

Losing myself

 

A Caller wrote: “I am really struggling with my life as a wife and mom right now. Before I got married or had my baby I was working on getting my masters degree and starting a career that I was really passionate about. Within a short amount of time I found myself no longer a college kid, but a new wife and an even newer mommy. I love my husband and baby, but I am struggling with my own desire to still have time to pursue my  dreams, and feeling like I am losing myself. As a Christian wife and mother what are my responsibilities to my family and do I have to give up who I am and what I want for myself, to meet those responsibilities?”

Help,

Torn and feeling pretty selfish

Sweet Caller, ( Rachelle)

Haven’t we all been there? Before we met Prince Charming most of us had a vision of who we ultimately wanted to be and what we needed to do to get there. Then enters the game changers: hubby and babies. They both have a way of changing everything. When I met Jake I was headed to Julliard to study music and theater and was not even interested in having children. But just like a West Texas wind storm, Jake blew in and threw all my plans up in the air. I suddenly found my dreams and priorities shifting. I struggled with who the “new” me was suppose to be. I knew I wanted a life with Jake and little brown eyed babies, but I also knew God had a plan for my life, that INCLUDED the talents He had given me. I really had to spend some time in my prayer closest trying to figure out what that plan looked like in the light of this new season God had placed me in. I was not called to lose myself, the creature God perfectly and wonderfully made, but to grow in this new season, to add the dimensions, the holiness, the righteousness and maturity that He intended to bring out in me, when He gave me my family. Having a family does not mean we give up all our hopes and dreams, it means we add members to our cheerleading squad, it makes our vision more focused and makes the journey that much sweeter. Figure out how God wants you to mold your interpretation of the dream He placed in your heart. Ask Him what working towards the call He has placed on your life looks at this season of your life, at this point of your journey. Just because a degree may not be in your near future, does not mean it is a dead dream. It means it is a dream God is still cultivating and pruning to bring the beautiful flower to fruition. Trust your God. He knows every hair on your head, and every dream in your heart. He knows the plans He has for you and they are for your good. Talk with your husband and the people in your life who help and support you. Figure out a realistic way to work towards meeting your goals without neglecting or missing out on the precious moments with your little one and with the man God gave to you. As my mom says, we can have it all, just not all at once. My mom is a perfect example of this. After raising 8 kids of her own, while running a successful business and supporting my preacher father in the ministry, she is just now, when her youngest is 17 starting to working on getting her doctorate. She has dreamed of this achievement since she was a girl of 15. She knew that was her goal before she even had one child. But if she had tried to accomplish it when she had 4 teenagers and several babies in diapers, not only would a nervous break down probably have occurred, she would have missed out on first steps, prom, first words, bedtime snuggles and midnight “girl talk” with all of us. Life is all about balance. With your  husband you have to find yours. You have to find the perfect balance for your family, in this season, in this moment God has brought you to. Don’t be discouraged. Know even now, God is doing a mighty work in you and we know HE WILL be faithful to bring it to completion!

Praying, Friend!

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